Saturday, March 26, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Post

Well, this is my first stream of consciousness entry, meaning I'm not writing on a particular topic.  I'm just kind of thinking and typing as things enter my massive genius brain.  Scared?

So I'm listening to the college basketball game that's currently on tv, but I have no idea who is winning.  Rick is "watching" it while doing something on his laptop.  Oh, now he's talking to me about some "upset" in some game.  I'm not really paying attention to him.  In other news, there is no real comfortable position to be in on this bed while I'm trying to type, and that's super annoying.  Also my nose itches - what does that mean?  According to my mom, if your palms itch it means you're about to get money.  Maybe I'll get lucky and my nose itching will mean I'm about to get something even more amazing.  But, who am I kidding?  I'm American.  Nothing is more amazing than money.  Duh.

Why doesn't popcorn fill me up at all?  I just went to see a movie, and I had popcorn, but now I'm still hungry.  Also, I feel like movie theater popcorn bags are neverending.  I swear I ate throughout the entire 2 hour movie and didn't even come close to reaching the bottom of the bag, and it was only medium sized!  That's the magic of the cinema for you.  Or ... something.

The guy on tv said something about being naked.  What the fuck?  Are they gonna have a naked playoff game at some point in this tournament?  Because that might hurt.  I mean, I don't have a penis, but I'd imagine running around dribbling a ball and slamming into people might not be good for that part of the body when not at least protected by shorts.  Ok, now I'm just picturing a naked basketball game.  Ew.  So much sweat.

Ok I need to move on from that pleasant thought.  I want food!  Tonight Rick is cooking us jambalaya with scallops in it - sooooooooooo good ohmygod.  I am so glad I found someone who loves to eat almost as much as I do.  I bet the people who read this blog who haven't seen me in a while assume I'm now super obese because of how much I talk about food.  Actually, lately I've been really stepping up my game as far as trying to prevent that by going to the gym 3 times a week.  Nevermind the fact that I'm so out of shape that I feel like I'm about to die after 20 minutes of cardio.

Hmmmmmm so ok sometimes this is what I think about:

The first person to ever have the hiccups must have been totally freaked out. 

Imagine being the first human ever to have that experience.  Like, all the other cavemen and women are staring at you and you're just making stupid noises uncontrollably while your stomach jumps around.  Weird.  Also, speaking of cavemen - what's up with the Flintstones?  They had a dinosaur.  How?  Weren't they all dead?  Wait, didn't they have a mammoth on that show too?  Who wrote that shit?

My mom often tells me I try way too hard to make tv shows make sense logically.  This is true.  For example, it really pisses me off that there's a beach on the show Spongebob Squarepants.  A beach ... in the fucking ocean.  Like, hello!  You're already deep underwater!  Also, I just realized all the characters take showers ... like, they have a shower and tub and water comes out of the showerhead and everything.  IN THE OCEAN.  My mom's response would be something like, "Yeah Ashley, well why don't we start with the fact that the sea creatures can all talk?"  But my logic stuff is specific.  I'm willing to overlook things like animals talking.  Patrick makes me laugh, though, so I'll forgive that show for now. 

Oh speaking of cartoon stuff, I scored the deal of the century today.  I found Fern Gully on dvd for 5 dollars!  So, naturally, I snatched that shit up.  Fern Gully is legit such a good movie.  I mean, now that I'm no longer a little kid watching it, all the tree-hugger, let's-all-save-the-rainforest stuff is kind of annoying, but Robin Williams does a voice in it!  Awesome.  Oh, and just so you know, I love the rainforest a lot ... I just don't want that kind of message shoved down my throat for an hour and a half.

Ok I really am starving now.  Would Rick think it's too early to start cooking?  What if he isn't at all hungry yet and I end up having to sit here in agony for like 2 more hours?  I think I'm gonna ask ...

Ok thank god, he stopped what he was doing and is now in the kitchen cooking for me.  This is love, people.  He's not starving, but he "could eat," so it'll be FOOD TIME SOON YAAAAAAAAAAAY.  Ok, I'm done with this now. 


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