I kind of want my own show, or else a show starring me AND Rick. I mean, I could make tons of money, and everyone would admire me and want to know me and send me fan mail. So anyway, these are the ideas I have come up with. If anyone knows a tv producer, feel free to direct him/her to this blog post.
1) Eating Adventures
At first, I thought this would be a show where Rick and I could travel the world, just eating everything in sight. But then I was like ... traveling is an expensive way to start out the show. So, until the show becomes a hit, Rick and I can just chill out at his apartment and set up a camera in the corner to record our food habits. We can also have eating contests on-camera, since we do that anyway in our spare time. I'd have to probably hire professional hair and makeup people, though, because once I start chowing down, unless I look super pretty, the viewers are gonna be too grossed out to continue to watch the show. Actually, I would probably get a lot of letters from health people telling me I'm going to have a million heart attacks if I keep up this diet. So maybe this wouldn't work with my whole getting-fan-mail fantasy.
2) Who Snored the Loudest Last Night?
Rick and I both snore ... loudly. But this would give the viewers (and us) a chance to see who will take home the Loud Snoring trophy (which I would have built, in the shape of a giant nose) after maybe a month of observation. I guess just watching 2 people sleep would get a little boring, so we can have bonus challenges to liven things up. Like, one night, one of the crew members can randomly start a small fire at the edge of our bed, and whoever doesn't get burned is the winner. We could also get bonus points for any intervals of really gross-sounding snoring. Oh, and if, for example, Rick is snoring directly into my ear (which happens fairly often), if I don't punch him in the face, I automatically win all the points for that night.
3) Choosing An Outfit: The Race Against Time!
This will be timed, obviously. Rick and I would have a deadline as to when we had to leave the apartment to go out somewhere. Whoever gets dressed and ready first is the winner. Now, I know what you're thinking: Rick will always win. Not necessarily! For one thing, I don't wear makeup, so that means all I have to do is pick out clothes. Granted, sometimes I fall into the everything-makes-me-look-like-a-whale syndrome, so he might have the advantge on those nights. HOWEVER, there are some nights where Rick walks out in an outfit and I give him a look that says, "If you wear that, people will see us and think, 'Isn't it sweet of that girl to take her mentally handicapped friend out in public?'" So then he has to go change, which would buy me extra time and a chance at total victory!!!
4) Movie Tolerance Challenge
I believe this would be the most stressful show for both of us, but I would struggle through it for the fans! We would take turns picking out movies for both of us to watch, and the challenge would be that the non-picker would not be allowed to make any negative comments about the movie the entire time. Things like eye rolls or angry sighs would deduct points. So, for example, if Rick chose something like Cool Hand Luke, I would have to resist the urge to blurt out "This movie is bullshit, and I don't give a fuck about Luke or the current temperature of his hand." That would probably cost me the round. Along that same line, if I chose The Bridges of Madison County, he would have to resist the urge to roll his eyes and say "Oh God" every 5 seconds.
5) Who's a Better Side-Seat Driver?
We do this all the time, so we might as well get paid for it. A panel of judges would decide whose comments were most helpful to whichever one of us was currently driving. Any backtalk from the driver would result in an automatic 5 point deduction. The driver would get an opportunity to defend his or her driving at the end of the trip, right before the judges start scoring. For instance, if I pointed out that Rick kept going up on curbs, his excuse of "They were just bumps on the road!" would probably not sway the judges very much. Also, if he pointed out my constant need to yell and cuss at idiotic drivers, I could argue that they very much deserved it. WHICH THEY ALWAYS DO! Though, again, the judges probably wouldn't tolerate my road rage.
So yes, I think we are destined for stardom. Please comment below with what show you'd most like to see, and that way I'll know where to start. If you have any other suggestions, you can also pass those along.