Monday, December 13, 2010

The Crazies in AC

So, I went to Atlantic City, NJ this past weekend for my friend's bachelorette party.  It was a rockin' good time, and I even got to bring home a pretty pink penis straw as a souvenir!  Score!  While I was in that city, however, I noticed several things:

1) People will keep gambling even if they are falling apart and/or dying. 

I saw a woman there who looked about 975 years old.  She was "seated" (slumped over with her head bent and about to collapse to the floor) at a slot machine, not even looking at it, repeatedly pressing buttons and placing bets.  I mean, she couldn't even see if she was winning or losing.  Every time I thought she might have finally died and I was about to alert the casino staff, her finger would tap one of the buttons again.  She had probably hit the jackpot at least once without realizing it and then gambled it away.

2) The Boardwalk is hilarious.

This was the scene: The girls and I are walking around, acting like complete tourists, saying things like "Ohmygod, that old man is wearing high heels!", a million birds are violently flocking to each speck of dropped food and sometimes crashing into people along the way, and a woman is sitting on a bench loudly belting out "Kumbaya."  I made the mistake of dropping one of my french fries and was instantly surrounded by the birds.  It scared the shit out of me, so from then on I would toss fries in the direction of my friends and watch them freak out.  I'm nice.

3) Drunk guys, even in a trashy casino club, should not be allowed to dance.

This one dude was like nothing I had ever seen.  He would swirl his hips around in what would have been a seductive manner had he been female.  Then he would extend both arms in front of him and baby-step walk towards groups of girls while still doing the hip movements.  This had the effect of a sheep dog herding his flock.  He would baby-step/hip-swivel towards them with his welcoming arms, and they would quickly shuffle off to the other side of the bar.  I saw this happen with 4 different groups.  Eventually, he gave up and just danced around in a circle with himself.  I don't know if he just couldn't walk normally or if the hip thing limited how far he could get with each step.  Regardless, it was highly amusing.

Yeah, it was a fun weekend.

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