I have known Lindsay (pronounced Lind-zay NOT lind-zee - get it right!!!) since kindergarten, and I believe even back then we knew we would be friends forever. We used to participate in deep sisterhood-y bonding activities such as trying to aim spitballs out the schoolbus window. She now lives far away from me (boo!), but she was in town last night, so we went out to dinner.
We went to a Mexican place, and the first conflict was deciding what to order:
Me: I mean, the tacos come in threes ... but am I hungry enough to eat 3 of them? Oh wait, the rice here is so good too! But I can't get 3 tacos AND rice!
Linds: Ok, here's what we can do - We can order the set of 3 tacos and each get a side with it, so we can split the tacos and have our sides.
Me: But what if I want 2 tacos? That only leaves 1 for you.
Linds: Ok ok ok, I got it! We get the 3 tacos AND THEN get a side order of just ONE taco, so that way we have a total of 4!
Me: But ... we don't like the same things on our tacos. You get lettuce, and I can't eat that shit. This plan will never work.
I eventually decided to just get the 3 tacos and the rice, and yes I ate all of it. So there! After that intense drama, we were in the car discussing tv shows:
Me: Do you ever watch "Keeping Up With the Kardashians?" It's so funny!
Linds: No, but oh man, you know what the best show is? "Richard Simmons's Family Jewels!"
Me: I've never even heard of that. Does Richard Simmons legit have a family? Does he have a husband?
Linds: A husband??? Oh my gosh, no! Richard Simmons is the guy from KISS, not that workout guy!
Me: That's GENE Simmons, you moron! RICHARD is the workout guy!
At that point, we were pretty much in uncontrollable laughter. The night ended with me driving her back to her house and us debating Yes songs:
Me: Have you heard of the band Yes? Please say you have.
Linds: Yeah! They did that song "Roundabout."
Me: What?? I haven't heard of that song. I don't think you know what band I'm talking about. They have a much more famous song than that. Ugh, I can't think of the name of it, though.
Linds: It's "Roundabout" ... NO WAIT it's "Long Distance Runaround!!!!"
Me: Ok, no, this is not right. What is that famous song called?
Linds: I'm telling you, it's "Roundabout!!!" (starts singing it)
Me: What the hell is that? I have never heard of that song, and I don't think you know what band I'm talking about! (scrolls through iPod to find the song I'm referring to) ... It's freakin "Owner of a Lonely Heart!"
Linds: Oh yeah, I know that one.
Turns out she had the correct band the whole time, but I'm saying ... those songs are obviously not more famous than "Owner of a Lonely Heart" ... I mean, come on.