Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Drive-Thru Recorded Greetings

I love fast food.  Duh.

What I do NOT love is when I pull up to the little order-taking speaker thing and I get a recorded greeting.  I never know what to do with that, but I figure these are my options:

1) Be insulted that I was not greeted by an actual human and complain to management about poor customer service
2) Give my order immediately after the recording stops, all the time worrying that the real person isn't ready yet
3) Sit silently in protest until a real person starts talking to me

I used to go with option 2.  Right after the recording prompted me to place my order, I would follow directions and do so.  This is how that always went:

Recording: May I take your order?
Me: Yeah, can I get a number 3 combo with a -
Angry Drive-Thru Worker: BE RIGHT WITH YOU!!!!!

What the hell?  Why would you have a recorded greeting if, by the time it finished speaking, you weren't ready?  Who invented this in the first place?  I would also like to say that the recording is always MUCH more cheerful than the actual person working.  It is so deceptive.  Where does that recorded voice come from?  Some corporate headquarters?  Did they pay an actress?  I have never encountered a drive-thru employee that nice.

Anyway, now I go with option 3:

Recording: May I take your order?
Me: ...............
Angry Drive-Thru Worker: Uh, PLEASE go ahead with your order, MA'AM!

Seriously, I can't win.  If I start talking, they get annoyed.  If I patiently wait for them to be ready, they get annoyed. 

There is also secret fantasy option 4, which would go like this if I were brave enough:

Recording: May I take your order?
Me: I'm not talking to this god damn cheery robot voice, so you bitches just let me know when you're ready to punch in my food order which you will probably screw up anyway.  Actually, I don't wanna talk to you either, so I'm just gonna repeat my order over and over and you give me a signal like coughing when you want me to f-ing drive around and pay your ass.  I figure it'll take at least ten minutes.

But I don't do things like that because I am always the nicest girl in the world.

Well, that and I don't want people spitting into my coke.


  1. What I like is when they greet you with "Would you like to try a new limited edition McRib combo?" I always just say "No." And then I wait. Sooner or later, someone says, "May I take your order?" Then, and only then, do I tell them what I want.

  2. Oh god, I know! That's yet another annoyance ... your strategy is good, though.

  3. There is one place where they are ALWAYS freakishly cheerful and nice - SONIC. I tell you, wearing rollerblades (except i guess they prob. dont at the drive-thru) really ups an employees attitude.

  4. Good point ... I know getting to skate around all day would definitely improve my mood. We should have skate days at the office!